


I don't want to love like this

by Nikelaos



Series: Ours is the fury [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen, I Made Myself Cry, angst and hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:29:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24055969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikelaos/pseuds/Nikelaos
Summary: «Mother, why is Grandma acting like this?» she asked, looking at Arya, sitting on a bench in the garden, her back curved and her head bowed to observe what she was holding on her lap, «why is she looking at that spear?»
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters
Series: Ours is the fury [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1469363
Comments: 1
Kudos: 54





	I don't want to love like this

**Author's Note:**

> Another sad one-shot of the "Ours is the Fury" series.
> 
> I hate myself.

The city where she grew up had never been so silent.

What had happened had brought together the representatives of all the Houses of Westeros to King's Landing and, after years, she, her sister and her three brothers had found themselves together, even Rickard, returned almost casually from his sea voyages.

Looking down at her mother's motionless back, Cassana thought of Ned's warm hands on her wet cheeks when, two months earlier, she had received her uncle Bran's letter.

«You have to go, Cass,» he'd whispered, wiping her tears with his thumbs. «They need you, all of you. Take all the time you need, Winterfell doesn't run away,» he'd concluded, with a slight smile.

«I'd like to bring at least Cat,» she had whispered, putting a hand on her husband's. «I think it would be good for her.»

Ned had just nodded, then he had hugged her tightly.

Someone who tugged her skirt lightly pulled her out of her memories and, looking down, noticed her daughter Catelyn looking at her confused with her grey eyes.

«Mother, why is Grandma acting like this?» she asked, looking at Arya, sitting on a bench in the garden, her back curved and her head bowed to observe what she was holding on her lap, «why is she looking at that spear?»

Cassana swallowed and forced her tears back. She crouched down to look into her daughter's eyes, «you remember grandfather was a blacksmith, right?» the little girl nodded, «that spear is the first weapon Grandpa made for her. With that, she fought against bad guys who wanted to destroy everything. Without that weapon, she would not be here, and you would not be here too,» she paused, moving a lock of black hair from her face, «and now she is sad, very sad.»

«Because Grandpa is gone?»

«Yes, that's why,» she replied, as a tear escaped her control and slid down her cheek. «She loved him very, very much, as he loved her. They met when she was little more than a kid, they spent many years together, and now she feels alone. A lot.»

Cat frowned and turned back to the motionless figure of her grandmother, «but if he loved her so, why did he leave? Why did he leave her alone, making her suffer like this?»

«Because it's life, honey.» she smiled a little, «for how many times you can say to the God of Death "Not today", there will be a day when you will have to say "Today". Even grandmother Sansa had to answer him this way last year. Remember?»

The girl nodded.

The two remained silent for a long time until Cat whispered in a weak voice, «I... I don't want to love like this.»

Cassana blinked several times, «what are you saying?»

«If you have to suffer like this, why to love someone?» she asked, looking at her mother with a frown.

«Because it's worth it.»

«Really?» she asked, unconvinced.

«Really» she got up, «go to her and ask.»

Hesitantly, the little girl made her way to her grandmother. Cassana watched from afar with a sad smile her daughter go and sit next to the woman on the bench, starting to speak softly. The young Queen in the North saw her mother slowly look up at the girl, lower her eyes to the spear for a few seconds and then start talking slowly, with a slightly distant expression.

Tears finally were streaming down on her face. She would never have thought of seeing her mother, the Bringer of Dawn, the one who had killed the Night King, like that.  
Loving is also suffering but, looking back on her life, Cassana was increasingly convinced that what she had said to her daughter was true: it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> The Murphy's Law. For the second time, while I was writing this story, I listened to "My featherbed".


End file.
